So apparently the rest of society knows the secret roles of men and women in relationships, while I being of sound mind and completely sober have no effing clue what the hell they are.
I have had some interesting conversations with my male friends and they seem to be under the notion that their woman is supposed to know her role. Of course I asked what the hell that role was? To which they reply "You know, cater to her man...cook, clean, let me be the decision-maker, I have the final say in things, submissive, blah, blah, blah." Now that's some seriously unadulterated sexist shyt right there. And the worst part about it is that a lot of them truly believe this.
I wonder why I wasn't brainwashed like the rest of these people they meet that believe this shyt.Responsibilities, not roles, lie in all relationships and they should be shared equally. You both have the responsibility to pay bills, cook dinner, take care of the kids, be committed to one another, etc, etc...
Personally, the day I have to take on motherly responsibilities towards a grown ass man will be the day I am single. I have never wanted a man who couldn't do shyt for himself, okay well there was that one guy I liked but thats another story + I ain't do shyt for him. I don't know how people fall into these stereotypical ass relationships that seem to be straight out of the 50s.
And people need to stop half raising boys and letting them out of housework they don't deem a man's work. A real man knows how to cook food that can be digested by humans, wash his own damn clothes, and clean up after himself. People also need to teach their daughters more than this housework bullish because you aren't doing anything but creating another woman who will ultimately be dependant on a man to do shyt that she could possibly do for herself.
Why can't people just understand that there aren't any roles in a relationship?
1 comment:
Whew, i really hate to burst your bubble, doubt i will but i will try and shed some light on the subject.
1st: there are / historically have been pre-defined roles in relationships. Yes, think back to the 50's and 60's, the 'leave it to beaver' family dynamic. This was (emphasis on was) the standard nuclear family. To which the family consisted of a working father, stay at home mother, and 2 children. These roles however have changed greatly, but thats no big surprise when looking at the changes society as a whole has gone through. More workingwomen, less fathers (not the maker of the baby, but a real father). This has since left a gap in the natural family dynamic, which thanks to my beautiful women has since been filled. Many mothers have been able to cope with the lack of the birth fathers presence by taking on the roles of both the mother and father. Even when another male is brought into the picture, many mothers still find themselves acting in the 'fatherly' role.
2nd: the lack of knowing ones 'role' is the biggest problem. Its not all the baby-boomers fault but they were the ones who began changing the roles and pushing those lines. They dont teach their children what their roles are or even should be. As a grown (a$$) man, and the son of a single(ish) mother, i for one understand that only a Man 9real man) can teach a boy how to become one. That is not to say that there was any lacking in my upbringing, my mother worked both sides of the fence better than anyone could. Yet in-still there were things that my father should have showed me, discussed with me, and taught me. These were all things that i eventually learned, but i could have benefited so much more from this training earlier. Think about all the young women and girls running around today tossing their goodies around confetti. This is not the way a girl should act, what happened to class and grace. These were part of the traditional women roles. Yes of course along with those came cooking, cleaning, taking care of her man, the kids, the house, blah blah. The man is to be strong in character and heart, holding the family together, being the provider, and laying down the law when necessary.
3rd: The decline of society as a whole can be traced back to a change in the family make-up. Once the roles of women and men changed we have a group of young adults and children that are walking around with their eyes wide shut.
*** Disclaimer: let this not come across like i agree with all the 50s and 60s roles for man and women, but i do like the principle***
3rd: A small policy of mine, " Dont teach, Dont learn, Dont do" If you (the proverbial you) dont teach the youth how to 'be' while in a relationship they will most likely not get, and then they will not act accordingly, and then you get a 55% divorce percentage. Oh wait thats where we are now, and that compared to the 30% from the 50s and 60s is remarkable. Homosexuality has become much more accepted. It has been going on forever but never this public, and never ever with so many kids involved with it. But of course the kids want to try being gay, it has become a faddish trendy activity. People used to get divorced because of things like, abuse, money, drugs, and infidelity. The reasons now are, 'i was drunk', 'just dont like you anymore', 'i got bored'. These arent the traditional reasons to breakup a marriage, even though they have become the typical ones.
i am a firm believer in letting 2 people choose their own dynamic. i personally like to cook, so i dont need a women to do that for me. i want a women with a job, not a stay at home wife. But i also feel comfortable in my manhood and dont feel emasculated by doing these 'women jobs'. But some men have taken that role to loosely and take on more than the jobs of the women, but the tendencies of them as well. Men are supposed to be the decision makers, the breadwinners, the providers. Women are supposed to support that by any means.
So after much thought and research, i think i have figured out why the roles of men and women have changed so drastically that no one really knows what they should be. Its WOMEN.
i know at first thats a shock, especially coming from a man, but i will explain;
Women are the true backbone of a relationship, its genetic. Women base their lives and thoughts on feelings and emotions, men on the other hand act mostly off instinct and partially off their grey matter. A relationship in terms of marriage is defined as "an emotional connection between a man and women". Since men dont work off emotion, women already have the upper hand. Women have all the power in a relationship, they always have. The problem is that in the olden days women let men think they were in charge. Thats the secret. Now since women work, bring home as much or more than their significant others they feel it is their right (which it is) to challenge their men, to put themselves out there as the boss. Men are not usually able to cope with that, its emasculating, and putting them in the role of the (traditional) woman, many men cant handle it and lash out.
i could probably go on and on about this topic, got my blood all pumpin, whew what a doozy, but i digress. Miss Kella, for you and the women you know, put the man first, let him think hes in charge. You women are the best magicians and puppet masters on earth, use it.
Why do i have the feeling that ill prolly get beat down over this, but im keepin it real.
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